Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
