man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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