Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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