Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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