I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Randomize
