they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BRING THE BAGELS
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
