We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
