Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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