I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
