like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize