can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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