so that wasnt chicken after all
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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