i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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