You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
