We won't sleep together?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
