Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
