i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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