Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
