Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
