I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
