You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
