Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
