how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
