then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Randomize
