After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
