maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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