Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
