Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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