so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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