I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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