My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
