I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This baby is an asshole
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm always down for nudity.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
