But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
