glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
