I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
