I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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