Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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