I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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