i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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