what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
