my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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