38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Text me some of your sweat
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
