not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
