WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
