My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
