I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize