i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
