There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
