Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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