i just google imaged poop.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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