then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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