Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
