Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
