There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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