he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
