I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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