Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
