I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
