Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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