I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
