i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
