She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
