I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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