They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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